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It's funny how people can sit there and play the pity card and what not but yet go right back doing what they did in the first place that caused them to become hurt and what not..well guess what..shit happens again don't come crying to me and others about your damn problem.
you didn't learn from the first 10 times, you won't learn ever...so take your stupidity and fucking shove it. I hate those that do things to get attention then go right back doing it again just to see who really cares and what not..can't play coy forever you fuck nut. so in another words fucking grow up and learn from your mistakes if you don't then you won't ever be happy.
Have you ever gotten things off your chest? I mean really gotten things off your chest? I have..and to be honest it made my night good..it made me feel really good tonight, it feels good to get things away and off my chest when it was time to do it..and it was well it was pleasing knowing that the other felt the same way to, well I hope so anyways.
I mean yeah I CAN be mad for a while and what not but yet when there is something bothering me I like to get it off my chest, or if I am in the wrong I will think about it before I will say I'm sorry. But when I say I'm sorry and it made the other person feel better..it makes things all the more better...I think that's something good and something everyone should feel..what you think?
see hell's deadly fire consuming your eyes, running black as night. Your voice stirs the whispered hunger within me, my desire. Words cannot describe the things that I yearn for you to bestow onto me. I want you to pin me to your bed of blood red velvet and split my pale shell of a body wide open.
I want you to make me beg to acquire the permission to speak your name. I want you to take everything I am and swallow it whole, never give it back, to leave me empty inside. I want you to throw me against the wall and not allow me to ever disobey words spoken from those pale reaper like lips.
If I try to run, hunt me down and punish me with you pleasure consuming tourchures.Wrap your arms around me and force me to lie still. Command me to see everything your way, remove my very will, and keep me forever. Make me your slave. I beg of you, don't hold back any longer, I cannot bear this knawing, unfullfilled need.
Control me, rule me, yield me,do with me as you wish. So long as I can feel your touch set my cold flesh ablaze.So long as your blood lust consumes me and threatens to entrall me for the remainder of eternity.
blah blah blah blah...blah blah..blah blah...blah blah...blah...yeah that's how it goes, but you know right now my mind is working on something my mind is sliding here and there. But there is a reason for that. We all have someone we worry about, when something is wrong with them you tend to worry about them..you want to make sure that they are happy or something you know?
Or when they are feeling down and what not you try to make them happy or you try to at least make them smile the best you can...well I to worry about someone..yeah I do have a heart to those that think I'm a heartless bitch..well guess what this BITCH does care about someone and this BITCH does have a heart...to bad you don't get to see it with those heartless fucked up little games you play.
I guess I'm just ranting but that's alright I mean I am me myself..always will be either you hate me or like me..or your just in the middle but either way I don't care..there are a few..I mean a FEW that I talk to on here and I tend to keep it that way...but yeah..I just wanted to write that out..
I've always enjoyed your writing. Very well written. :)
3:07am
11:07 Aug 26 2014 Times Read: 412
Yes I am typing...but that's always something nice to do here and there. this is just going to be a rambling kind of thing I don't know, but then again I never know what is going to play through..or what is going to be typed out..so you just might enjoy the little thing here and there.
I'm wanting to rework my profile but I don't know what I want to do with it, I mean I like the feel that it has now,but it's like something is missing..and I can't put my finger on it..I might change something or what not but yet I don't know..god I don't know..lol
I think I tend to change my profile to much due to the fact that I END up coming up with something or another thinking it will look good..I think i got the right background and what not to it...so it's so far so good..the whole skull thing though I don't think I want that there any more..but oh well.
I guess I don't have much to talk about really, but I will say that it's rather nice just to type and not be something bad..or something nasty towards any one..hell that's how a journal should be right? Bah who am I kidding this is VR Lol..anyways that's my one and only bad thing...yeah other then that I just rambled about my profile...woohoo what an entertaining entry!
I love how people don't get the story first and just go off on something else when they don't get the source from the person...or they don't pay attention to what you tell them
Oh well not my problem nor do I care....just saying.
Let me make this clear...and pay the fuck attention Mmmkay?
I am not putting up with this drama that is going around about me..unlike most of you fucked up assholes and what not
I DON'T HAVE A MILLION PROFILES.
I don't hide in cam's as an anon, if you have a fucking problem with me, then STEP the fuck up and stop going behind my back about shit, also about this whole coven shit as well.
I COULD or WILL get in trouble for this, but you know what if I HAVE TO show that I AM NOT talking shit about someone I WILL POST my fucking postings in here from my own coven.
now i will say this one more time
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
just stop it already and go play on your own fucking profiles, I DON'T have a fucking problem with a couple people on here and I TOLD one of them this already! now if you can't be big enough and step up..then do one thing.
I love how I'm not on here much so much is said and done by others. I mean granted I do come on here, but I don't live on here. I have a life outside of this little world. But when I come on and I take note of things, I find it rather funny.
I mean really don't drag me into drama, don't pull me into things, and if you want to know something....I have been accused so many times of having more then one profile well you know what. I have one..THIS ONE, this is the only damn profile I have. I don't need a million profiles to feel wanted or needed let alone to cause drama anywhere on this site.
I come on here to say hi to a couple people then I'm off again, just because I'm signed in doesn't mean I'm here all the time glued to the damn screen. I have things I need to take care of and what not I'm sure most of you understand this. So please..if it's not me that causing drama and what not leave me alone..that's all I'm saying.
Just leave me alone, I'm sick of being pulled into shit I'm not doing let alone someone else is doing to me..or acting like me.. I am my own person I have a life I do what I do...I run around on here trying to level up, hell it took me almost a month to get to Elemental that alone should show you I don't do anything on here, i post in my coven, i rate a few people and read a few journals..that's it...so please
The days..well sunday monday and tuesday has been rather good, but you don't need to know about that, just know that I Had a good time...so yeah..anyways other then that there was a snag or two or three here and there that made things hard on my end.
Unlike most of you I can't live on here..I mean yeah most of you say you don't but it shows other wise. I keep forgetting to sign out of this site..i just close the tab. anyways..I had things come up and what not..one is moving..i had to move wooo that was always fun..but lucky I didn't move that far just across town...again I'm not going into detail due to the fact well I'm not giving you assholes a chance to stab at me.
with all that said and done my nights are always ended with something pleasing, something nice and something caring...they are always ended with a soothing tone and laughter now that's what I call a good ending to good nights..helps me sleep too. But hey we all have something, and well I do..but you won't know what..why well because you don't need to know also..this person isn't here on VR...so yeah another thing that shows i do have a life outside this site.
on that side note..i will admit now...Im not in the best of moods so if you message me please just take it easy on me yeah? well that's it for this little entry I hope you enjoyed it....laters.
wow 288 hours of the simpsons..12 days of them...starting 7am on FXX Aug 21...that's a lot of simpsons...wow..I don't think I could watch that many let alone 12 days of them...I just...can't..wow where to start with that one Lol
I just got into an odd fight with a friend. Now everyone has their own thing on dreams. I mean when I have dreams I take note of them right then and there.
But in her case she will lock the dream in her head and just think and thin and think on it. She will sit there and ask the questions why did I have it, what does it mean...why was in my sleep. The thing is...she got mad at me cause I told her I don't dwell on my dreams.
I simple take note of them when I have them..but I don't sit there and just hold onto them and what not..I told her as well I RESPECT on what she does, but yet she got mad at me for what I believe...I mean don't get me wrong I love my friend to death but shouldn't she respect my choice on it as well..just as I respect hers?
Sometimes dreams are things your subconscious cannot escape, though other times they are the things you desire- or fear that you do not give a voice to in your waking hours.
As for not dwelling on the dreams you have, it's likely for the best that you don't. Shows you devote more time to your waking hours than what your mind... shows you. Your friend should respect that in my opinion.
Eternal Time,That Wastest Without Waste.
10:32 Aug 18 2014 Times Read: 584
Eternal Time, that wastest without waste,
That art and art not, diest, and livest still;
Most slow of all, and yet of greatest haste;
Both ill and good, and neither good nor ill:
How can I justly praise thee, or dispraise?
Dark are thy nights, but bright and clear thy days.
Both free and scarce, thou giv'st and tak'st again;
Who wrote it? Who knows? The names fell from the pages, lost and never to return to where the eyes of the reader might ever see them. I am no one, constructing eternity so I can live forever.
I'm going to die, yes I am but you know what I don't really care, and for some reason....this is rather fitting...I couldn't help but to laugh when I read this..
I had to share this I saw the movie..and god damn this part I thought was awesome..and to be honest Leo..looks like a god damn killer...sexy as hell oh yeah!
God..have you ever sat there and just thought about things? I mean granted I'm sure most of you have..but yeah this is a thank you to someone special.
I have something special...or someone special within my life..and I will admit that I wouldn't change it for the world...I mean they have been there for me through thick and thin, they have been there for me when things went bad, they never pushed me away they never shunned me away.
most of all they didn't go with what others said, no they looked at the fact's of things and then spoke, then they acted, they didn't sit there and jump the gun going and following those that came at me for no reason. This special someone isn't on this site..no why? because they know better then to come on here...but yet they are there no matter what...and let me be honest here....let me be straight.
They know what I DO on here, I won't hide what I do on here from them why? because this site is a bitch on relationships and those that are close to one another..this site is horrid at breaking up good friends, lovers and what not..so they know not to be on here but you know, they know everything I do on here..and I'm not ashamed of it.
I'm not ashamed or not afraid of anything..no..SO yeah..I'm sure you people have someone special in your life...but..this one knows who they are....and I know they will read this..and well when they do I hope it makes them smile.
eloved actor Robin Williams was found dead on Monday, police reported.
He was 63.
The apparent cause of death was suicide by asphyxiation, authorities said. According to his publicist, Williams had been battling severe depression.
Williams was best known for his starring roles in classic comedies like Mrs. Doubtfire and Jumanji. He won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of Dr. Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting. He rose to fame while playing Mork the alien in the TV show Mork & Mindy, a Happy Days spinoff.
Most recently, Williams had starred in the new CBS sitcom 'The Crazy Ones.' It was cancelled after just one season.
Susan Schneider, the actor's wife, released the following statement to the New York Times' Dave Itzkoff
"This morning, I lost my husband and my best friend, while the world lost one of its most beloved artists and beautiful human beings. I am utterly heartbroken. On behalf of Robin's family, we are asking for privacy during our time of profound grief. As he is remembered, it is our hope that the focus will not be on Robin's death but on the countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions."
First movie I ever got to see with him, was Good Morning Vietnam. He was perhaps the greatest comedian of this era. By far one of the greatest comedians ever. This man will deeply be missed, by his personal friends, actors whom staged with him, and his fans. This man held a very comical life inside and out of the screen. I wish I could have met him in person before he died.
It's only a sin if the religion you believes in deems it so.
I believe in nothing, so I commit no sins.
That's freedom. And I won't ever be eaten off of an outhouse toilet by a T-Rex....
Want It?
21:28 Aug 09 2014 Times Read: 809
Alright...I'm not one to well start something, but you know what. I haven't messed with anyone let alone spoken to anyone..if I have left you alone that means I'm not wanting to cause problems...but for some reason..
little assholes know how to come around and cause drama..now let me see here. I haven't talked about anyone let alone been in any one's cam..the only cam I GO into is Dave's. But for some odd reason some sniffling asshole lost without his master is going around saying I'm a pussy and talking shit about him..
hmm that's interesting..it really is.due to the fact that well I don't talk about anyone, I've left the past in the past and moved on..and yet I'M CALLED a pussy I'm told I'm going around in cams talking about this person...well I'm sorry if he feel's lost without his master or his mother tit in his mouth.
go back to your little fucked up group or drama group and well let me see how much of a bastard you can be..you told me if I talked about you WHICH i am now..let me see that beautiful oh so sweet little child face of yours giving me the GRR..I WANNA see it..I really do..I bet it's so cute when a fucking submissive rolling in someone's ass is cute struggling trying to be ll tough and what not.
ah I feel better..now run along..go talk to your master and cry that you were talked about...sorry the VR compliant group isn't going to help you with this one..you opened your fucked little mouth and spoke..so i stepped up.
To be honest I don't give a rats ass what you think of what I'm about to put here, or what your about to read...but hey my journal my words..don't like it..either block me..-cries- omg I might be blocked -laughs- or bitch about it..please take a number..have a nice day.
there is way to many people on here that take things way to serious, they really do, and they get way to butt hurt over words that are typed up..it's not hard to just turn off the computer and walk away, or it's not hard just to fucking block people. But it just seems like people just want to try and be some bad ass online cause they lack it outside of online.
I thought a thought. But the thought I thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought.If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought I thought,I wouldn't have thought so much.'
I hate this..I really do, but why do people find relationships on here? I mean granted there are some good ones that are going strong, but yet I have seen more break apart on here then anything. My thought is if you meet someone on here, why stay on here? I mean come on...you know that at some point or another someone wil come to you and start shit.
drama will come out and it will just cause problems. I've seen more relationships break on here then I have more last long...granted as I said I have seen some go strong but that shows they are really with that person they are with them with them not just on the site, but with them in person..
They are not just locked in the internet world of a relationship where you can push a button and turn off your computer, or where you can just change your number and what not..I'm not complaining no..but I find it funny how people will be with someone and before you know it a week later they have some depression kismet...saying
"I'm not loving any more, so tired of being hurt"
get off the computer go out and look for someone the natural and real way..that's just my thought..
I can completely agree with what you are saying. I met my husband on here but we have taken it offline and he's living with me now. We have a son on the way and things couldn't be better. But I do definitely see what you are saying about the ones who put up the kismets and journals and all that.
That's good! I mean as I said there are some on here that have stuck together and that's why I put that so people weren't getting the wrong idea of what I was saying. It's just seeing the same people though over and over.
"Oh I'm so in love I can't get enough of them"
then like a week later they are split up and you see kismet's up saying.
"I'll never love again, I hate hurting blah blah blah."
but then a week alter they are with someone else...it just drives me batty you know? But again I'm happy for those that did find love on here and carry it further then just an internet fling you know?
Pure silence covered the whole house. You could hear your own breathing from wall to wall. And darkness was my friend. Shadows were everywhere to be seen, they chased you. All I could do was run, behind my guide. We both felt it coming, but we never said a word. From door to door there was nothing but black illusions. Tension was everywhere though, but the kind that you felt in your bones. And I for sure did not want to get caught in the act. The followers were getting near. There's no place to hide now.
She took me by the hand and quickly we moved from place to place. I could hear her mumble, but it only made me worry more. What can you say, I was a kid of four at the time. And for running in complete darkness and hearing voices from everywhere is what made me fear most. The shadows followed, and she just kept running. And all I hear from her is bits of pieces coming from her mouth in the silence of the house. "they can't take her" "no no no" "have to get out" "my poor baby". We continued to run.
The shadows were catching up and I could feel the icy cold fingers run through my spinal chord. As I trembled so did she, her hands were soggy wet from griping on my hand. She was shaking but I could tell she knew, they were catching up. Goosebumps were now forming, but not on me on her. She felt like ice, but the night air felt 70. More and more closely the breathing felt.
She couldn't open one damn door and the shadows were getting closer. Her desperation was kicking in. "come on this one has to open" nothing did. "Come on come on" she shook the handles of every place she could find, but nothing opened. She yelled in frustration and anxiety was already here. "I have a child for god sake, please open".
Tears were not an option for this moment, but one little glimmer was showing in her cheek. I wanted to hug her but now was not the time. We continued to move on. Coming to every door and nothing, they saw but no opening was available. Almost as if no one was wanting us, "you're not allowed here" is what I heard. She kept running and opening, but nothing. The shadows were closer now. I could feel there breath against my bones, almost as if they were taking away all the life in me. As for her, she was still as a rock as she ran, and I could tell she knew.
They were paralyzingly us now in our minds. But nothing was more close then the feeling of death in our hands. We ran and ran, with each pace there was a small glimmer. She was losing hope now, in the dark I could tell she was a cloth dripping after being soaked in water. "We need help" and between words I heard her say "if someone could just help us". As she ran she got distracted and as we hit a curve.
She fell in her doom, as she got up red marks were now showing but she continued. She picked me up and carried me in her arms. Her grip on me was as strong as rope when playing tug o war. I could hear her heart beat with every move she made. Her little stars that fell from the sky were so warm and soft I smiled at them. I knew she was fighting them and now she was fighting for me. "don't worry baby your going to be alright" her voice was now a button shaking on a table rolling on to the floor. But between the lines I didn't here a 'we'. Now I knew something was up, so I held on even more.
Throughout the search for an open door, more silence was killing a living.The shadows were now neck and neck with air. She felt defeated but kept going. With one last chance of life in us, one opened. With all her might she opened to one door of hope. As she held me, I knew there wasn't no time left. As she put me on the ground and kissed my forehead I knew she was saying goodbye. I held on to her neck, I didn't want to let go.
I felt her struggle from the pain of separation. As she moved my hands my grip got stronger and with each pull my heart felt weak. So as I let go I kissed her cheek and with the small kiss I got I return her star. The small little rain drop that made me remember her. With that she looked at me and said "my little one, don't make no sound. Your gonna be alright. I'll be back to get you soon. Don't worry, _____ loves you" she felt torn as she said goodbye. "I love you too, _____", my heart sank seeing her face. And as she closed the door I felt rays of heat impale my skin. I knew something was going to happen.
* * * * * *
As a small thing I could tell the right from wrong, and while sitting there for some minutes I knew something was up. I could hear sounds in the background, like those weird background voices you hear in some songs. From some reason they freak me out, and I'm guessing it's from this memory.
* * * * * *
As I'm there sitting and holding back tears, I could hear her voice softly but trembling. She was fighting the urge, to rescue me.
I listen to dark music when I want some time alone to myself because I want to sink into imagination that takes me away from the hassles of this word. And today I will take you through five of my favorite dark songs.
Among the many dark songs that I have come across, I like "Seven Sirens and a Silver Tear by Sirenia" the most. It has a classical rhythm about it and makes you listen to more. The piano keynotes, as they get higher take you into a dreamy, lonely place. I imagine myself running through dark, misty woods towards a ray of light yet the more I run the farther the light seems to be. It’s drizzling and the clouds are thundering yet I fight my way through the raindrops. The higher the keynotes get the faster I run and I’m running to an elevation now. This music takes me into deeper imagination and I can actually feel the cold and the rain drops on my face.
I also like the number "Save Me from Myself by Sirenia" because it talks of freedom of a dark soul. I like the beat and the lyrics most. Listening to this song I can picture a helpless soul that is imprisoned by its own thoughts, hurt and feelings. It talks of a time when you feel like you have had enough of this world and of your own desires, emotions (another dark side of the soul) and all you want to do is to break free from it all.
The next most favorite dark song of mine is the "X-files Theme song by Mark Snow". The music is creepy yet rhythmic and it makes the listener wander into another world. It makes you enter the world of super natural where nothing is usual; everything is creepy and mysterious. With each rising note the creepiness heightens and you may feel the chill running down your spine as you imagine horrible, spooky, mysterious things from the dark side. Because it’s the theme song of a serial that revolves around paranormal activities and unknown creatures of the universe; listening to it immediately reminds of the serial and the many interestingly creepy episodes.
"Lies by Evanescence" is yet another all time favorite dark song of mine. I love this lady’s voice and the themes that she picks to sing about. This song reflects a broken, tormented heart and soul. The agony is evident from her voice and the beat seems to show the intensity of the pain felt. The lyrics are amazing as they speak of betrayal. Being in this world of lies and dishonesty it has become so easy to relate to songs of this nature. They speak of the darkness of souls who have become indifferent to mankind.
I remember by first breakup, my first ever heart break and I remember how I used to listen to "My Immortal by Evanescence" over and over again. I could feel her sing my emotions and all that I wanted to scream and shout. As I write this it still brings a little tear at the corner of my eyes how hurt I was and how real I had always thought the relationship was. Well, so to say this song really hits me like an arrow in the heart when I think of how deep and how honest one’s emotions can be while on the other hand how cruel the response could be.
These songs I can never get off my hit list as they take me to the dark side; away from this material world.
we all have songs like this. And we also have songs we once liked and will admit to liking them at one point. Though due to past endeavors are unable to listen to anymore.
One of my contemplation hits is Combichrist - They because it don't just speak of the government and other society organized 'watchers' but also it takes to a personal essence too. As well as a spiritual essence to know you know you are being watched, you are afraid of the manipulation that can happen but you are willing to stand up against it and seek the truth of it all.
Though the one that pulls me most is Grendel - Deep Water. The reason behind it is because of the 'forbidden' love. The taboo of love that many do not see as such. The dive is always the most vitalizing part of it. And the deeper you go, the euphoria it gives, the darker the waters become the sheer excitement and fear.
COMMENTS
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dabbler
05:01 Aug 29 2014
Munchausen Syndrome!